'WHERE CAN I BUY A BROWN BELT?"

hi there harry hitchens aka 'hitch' or 'the hitchster' to his friends.

thanks for writing in and being our first ever questioner. for this massive feat please see details below for what you have won*.

as to your question 'where can i buy a brown belt?' let me get to your well earned answer.

1. you can buy a brown belt at most of your local high street stores or online retailers.  but i'm sure a young man like you knows his way around the world wide web so i won't patronise you!**

2. now don't get me wrong, i could leave it there. feel free to stop reading and get on with your day. but see below for brown belt related discussions:

- what type of brown belt should i be buying, i hear you not ask? well let me break it down for you.

the canvas statement

a) well, there's the canvas belt. unless you're twelve and it came with the slightly too long shorts that your mum bought for you from fat face, then this option is not okay.  the fact that you feel the need to be able to adjust the belt so easily shows that you just don't care about life enough - if you're not willing to just choose a belt tightness and stick to it all day, well how are you going to stick to a career? a woman? a fitness regime?

the studded number

b) any belt with shit stuck onto it is making you look like someone who doesn't know how to have a good time. anyone that knows how to have a good time doesn't need to have stuff stuck on their belt, it just doesn't make sense. you can't replace a personality with studs, we can all see right through it.***

the crocodile one

c) wearing something animal textured doesn't make you one i'm afraid. put the pointed boots away and unless we're talking a very faint pattern with a very plain outfit, then put the belt down and say see you later crocodile, in a while alligator.

the plain jane

d)  you don't even want to buy a belt though do you.



have a good bank holiday, maybe treat yourself to a starbucks or something.

this has been emily.


* note:  you have won unlimited answered questions (i know, great right?) and also maybe like a postcard if you really want one but i'm just gonna draw a smiley face on it or something shit like that.
** note:  i will give you this top tip though: no need to put the double you double double you at the the beginning of your web address anymore! the internet just knows what you mean cause we've got a connection with it now.
*** note:  not the belt. we can't see through the belt. i know that.